Saturday, May 31, 2014 @ 5:09 AM with 3 comments

So hey. Whatsup. i know right. It’s been a long time since i wrote. i can’t even remember the content of the last entry i had wrote. i don’t care. The thing is, i think i got messed up seriously. I just feel stress about nothing. Feeling like yelling to random people eventho they didn’t do anything that annoys me, i just wanted to do it. No particular reason.

i used to say "nothing" "I’m fine" "it’s okay" and stuff when I’m feeling really low but that shit i tell aint real cause what i really really really feels at that particular moments is, a storm, a hurricane, a thunder is in my head and i don’t know how to shut it off. My head is a mess. I am a mess myself. i act normal like normal people never having problems and stuff but act i am depressed and I stressed about stupid things but most likely with no reason A LOT (yup, that’s on capital letter means I am so serious here babe). I’m writing this down here because i know aint nobody gonna read this so i thought maybe this is the safest place to speak all the things i have been kept in my bloody rotten heart.

People leave right. I mean, they will actually come to your life and they will be like “heyyyy I am going to be your best friend forever and we ar goin to make memories, fun memories and I will always be with you, I swear” and how stupid was and say what, bamm not long enough, at one moment when they feel something with you, when they feel like it’s not worth hanging up with you, yup, they will eventually go. Go and find a new friend leaving you with all the memories they promised to make (that one promise they choose to keep but not friendship, shit) and in that moment you will realize that you’re drowning. Drowning in an ocean of life and for me, I feel like I’m drowning but not being able to die.  

I just hate it when people leave. I feel pain.

And one thing about pain, it demands to be felt, eventho you refused.